Chicken soup

I'm making chicken soup for dinner. There's something so soothing about making chicken soup from scratch. Hell, I may even make some bread.

I don't really want to talk about chicken soup, though. I want to talk about TMI. What's the deal with prefacing blog posts with "TMI?" I mean, aren't we all in essence writing about pretty personal stuff? What's the big deal with saying you have a yeast infection or you have to shove progesterone up your wazoo? I mean really... When it comes right down to it, we're ALL doing strange stuff to try to get pregnant. We're checking our cervical mucous. (Really?) We're checking the toilet paper for the slightest hint of pink like I talked about in this post. (And yes, I was guilty of calling it "Major TMI.") Some of us are shooting ourselves in the ass or the stomach on a regular basis. Some of us are getting some from the dildo-cam on a regular basis. Is it really TMI, or is it the reason other people are actually reading our blogs? The way I see it, people want to read something they can relate to. They want to know that they're not in this game alone.

That's just one of those random things that I find odd.

I have some major TMI to share with y'all, but maybe another day.

For now, how about some chicken soup?

Learning more than I ever wanted to know

Sometimes I make the mistake of assuming that since my readers are fellow IFers, they'll know what I'm talking about when I casually refer to "lingo" of the IF (infertility) world. Because I'm most comfortable when I'm in control and know what's going on, I've done lots of research every time I find out something new that might be relevant to my situation. I know waaaaay more than I ever wanted to know about miscarriage causes, symptoms, etc. I just have to remind myself that not everyone's situation is the same as my situation, and not everyone will have a clue what I'm talking about when I talk IF lingo (any more than I understand IVF lingo like the types of drugs and when they're used, whether they're injectible or oral, etc.)

Therefore, I wanted to talk a little bit about some of the things that I've talked about recently to clarify.

1. This doens't have to do with IF, but it's something that was brought up with regard to my last post. Re: the Dr. B.rown's Bo.ttles, unfortunately, I've already done the research on them, and YES they were made with BPA, a substance that is potentially harmful to babies. (The company that makes them maintains that they're "safe" even though they have BPA, and I used them until D went to the sippy cup, but with all the new things in the news about BPA, I don't want to take chances.) Just the bottles themselves were made with BPA though, so I kept the vents and all the rest of the parts. I want to br.eastfeed if I can the next time around, but if I can't I'll have lots of extra vents to use, which is nice because they're the most annoying part of those bottles to clean!

2. Lute.al Ph.ase Defe.ct: The way I understand this is as follows. Your lu.teal ph.ase is the timeframe between ovulation and when you get your period. For most people it's about 14 days long, (because you ideally ovulate right in the middle of your cycle.) When you ovulate later than day 14 - and more specifically, when you ovulate less than 10 days before you get your period, you're said to have a lut.eal ph.ase def.ect. From what I've read, the big problem with this is that your uterus is ready on day 14 or thereabouts to accept the egg and allow for implantation. When you have a lut.eal ph.ase de.fect, you're shooting the egg into a less than optimal environment because the ut.erine lining has already received a signal from the body that it won't be needed this month, so it doesn't continue to thicken in preparation for the egg to implant. This can increase the risk of miscarriage. That's the reason that pro.gesterone and clo.mid are often used to treat LPD. The C.lomid helps you to ovulate at the right time and kick your progesterone production in at the right time, and the pro.gesterone helps to pick up whatever slack your body leaves.

3. OPK is an Ovulation Predictor Kit. Along with baby aspirin and progesterone, this is one of the first things that doctors seem to recommend to people who are having trouble conceiving or experiencing pregnancy loss. (My doctor recommends starting prog.esterone 3 days after ovulation, so the OPK is necessary to pinpoint ovulation.)

I would add some more information about Klinef.elter Syndro.me, but since we've established that neither my husband NOR my last baby had it, it's a moot point. :-P

Recycling update

Today I'm cleaning my basement out a bit, and I'm recycling ....hmmm... probably about $50 worth of Dr. Brow.n's bottle.s which happen to have been made before the big B.PA uproar.

Just had to share my disgust.

Self-diagnosis

I'm calling lute.al pha.se de.fect.

This cycle, I waited and waited. CD 19 and the OPK finally shows up positive. And yes, my cycle is usually 28 days. Hmmmm...

Now, I know I don't always ovulate late, because I've done (I think) three or four rounds of OPKs and I've been closer to the middle before, but I also know that I've ovulated late before.

So, while I'm in this mood of self diagnosing, I might as well self medicate too.

If I don't get pregnant this cycle, I think I'm going to take the Clo.mid next cycle (that Dr. N prescribed.) From what I'm reading, doctors use Clo.mid to treat lute.al pha.se de.fect, and really, what's the worst that could happen? I have another miscarriage? There's a big chance of that anyway. So what the hell, right?

Feeling positive

For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling a little more grounded and like I'm where I belong.

I've spent the last several business days (Thursday, Friday, Monday and today) Googling different doctors and hospitals. After my last appointment with Dr. G I realized that I need to suck it up and find a doctor closer to me. The stress of driving through lots of traffic...not being sure if I'll make it to the appointment on time...not being sure exactly where I'm going sometimes... That needs to end.

I like the idea of delivering again at the bigfamoushospitalinthebigcity, but in the end, I'm not high risk (as far as I know) and tons of people deliver babies outside of the city. EVERY. DAY. I can too.

So I found a PCP with lots of good reviews who's very close to my house. She also happens to have a specialty in dermatology, so I can have her look at the little pink bump on my arm that probably isn't skin cancer (because the last doctor said don't worry) but that I still wonder about. Bonus. I meet her next week just for a "new patient appointment" (read: appointment where nothing is accomplished except for taking my history, which they should do at your physical, except if they did they would only get one $20 co-pay instead of two.)

I'm feeling good about her. Really good. Crazy, huh? Don't let me down, lady.

Resume medical records transfer hell.

[As a side note, Dr. G's office can only release their OWN records of my history to me, not the records that I paid $18.58 to have mailed to them. So, I had to call the medical records people back at Dr. N's practice and BEG them not to charge me another $18.58 to have another set of records mailed to me. Homegirl on the phone (after much begging and politely asking to talk to her superior) says, "okay, we'll waive the fee, but make sure you make a copy before you give them to the next doctor." I tell her that if she sends me these records, I will absolutely make a copy, and I promise I will NEVER call her again. She thinks I'm kidding and laughs. I'm not kidding. Really. Not. Kidding.]

The first OB I called (young, female, great online reviews) isn't accepting new patients.

Finally I broke down and called the office of another OB whose name I have heard overandoverandoverandoverandover from tons of people. The best. Loved by everyone. But OMG... He's male. That weirds me out a little bit, but I decided that it might be a sign that people KEEP SAYING HIS NAME. I was able to talk to a nurse right away on the phone to ask my 20 questions. She was nice and patient, and I got good vibes from her and the receptionist.

So ladies, it's official. I've cut my ties with Dr. N and the medical-records-hell that has been my life for the past two months.

Moving on, moving up, moving out.

You won't believe it when I tell you

I'm embarrassed to be writing this post. When I was seeing the old fertility doctor (Dr. N) for 7 months, I felt confident that he knew what he was doing. I live in a state with amazing medical resources, and Dr. N is affiliated with one of the best hospitals in the country. I was hesitant to change doctors because his office delivers babies at said large, famous hospital, where my first son was born. I had a great experience and I wanted to go back. I defended Dr. N when he probably didn't deserve to have my benefit of the doubt. In retrospect, I feel like I should have changed doctors sooner, (which is why I'm kind of embarrassed) but who knew?

If you remember, I began to get the feeling that this doctor and his staff weren't paying enough attention to me as a person and as a set of symptoms. (Honestly, I don't care if you see me as a set of symptoms as long as you tell me wtf is wrong with me.) That's when I started to look into getting second opinions and changing doctors.

Well, the genetic counselor we met with last week called me this morning to tell me that she got a copy of the chromosomal analysis from the last embryo I miscarried. (She actually followed up and called me when she said she would. What a breath of fresh air!)

The embryo did NOT have Kline.felter Syndrome.

It had Triploidy. That means that it had 69 chromosomes instead of 46. That's a whole extra set from one parent. She said that either the egg was fertilized by two sperm, or the egg didn't divide as it should so that all of its chromosomes were transferred instead of half. She thinks the reason that Dr. N said Klinef.elter is because Triploidy is XXY, as is Klinef.elter. It's just that Triploidy is 69 XXY, and Klinef.elter is 47 XXY. Which means... Dr. N wasn't paying enough attention.

The good news is that Triploidy IS a reason for the m/c, (whereas Klinef.elter alone, is not.) It is a random event, and there is no reason to think that it's related to T's XYY Karyotype, nor, most likely, will it ever happen to us again.

If I had to take a guess right now, I'm betting on luteal phase defect or progesterone deficiency (probably both), and the only way to find out is to keep playing the game.

Resigned... for now

Sometimes things happen, and no explanation can be found.

I had my follow-up appointment with the RE today. There is no chromosomal or blood related (that they've tested for) reason.

I'm not giving up hope that a cause may be found for my miscarriages, but for now, we're going to try again and hope that we hit the jackpot again. Although that idea really worries me, I know that with each subsequent loss, no matter how painful, we'll hopefully be able to find out a little more, and eventually we will succeed.