Wish I were more of a b**ch

Before I begin this post, I have to ask you all to please NOT tell me to change doctors. This practice is the closest practice to me that delivers at the hospital where I want to deliver. While I'm not thrilled with their attentiveness, I do have the feeling that they know what they're doing. From now on, I just need to be more assertive with regard to my own care.

That being said...

When I walked into the fertility doc's (Dr. N.'s) office, he reviewed my HSG results and my bloodwork. The HSG was normal (which I knew) and the blood work was mostly normal except for an elevated anticardiolipin level. I knew that too, but for weeks I've been asking the nurse to tell me exactly what that means, and when she couldn't, (on any of the multiple occasions that I asked her) I finally gave up. (After all, Dr. Google reassured me that elevated anticardiolipin levels are often treated with baby aspirin, which I was on last cycle.) Nurse "nice but useless" was clearly not concerned enough about my test result to offer a follow-up appointment with the doctor.

Dr. N. started telling me about the anticardiolipin level and its implications (e.g. blood clotting issues.) Long story short: he's concerned. He's very concerned that this is a major factor in my inability to maintain a pregnancy. (Nurse "NBU" did not seem concerned at all, and had just told me to "call again next cycle" when I ovulate and "we'll try again".)

Dr. N. is concerned enough about this issue that he's referring me to yet another specialist: a high risk specialist, who will either be able to diagnose/treat the problem, or who will refer me to a hematologist (blood specialist) for further evaluation. Dr. N. wants the high risk person to decide if she thinks I am okay with just baby aspirin, or if I should move to something like Hepa.rin. Bad news is that the high risk person is only in their office once a month, and that's not until April 28th. Dr. N. doesn't want us to try again until I see the high risk doctor.

F**K. (Or, no f**k, depending on how you look at it.)

Guess we can throw that "fate" post out the window. Or maybe this is fate. Interesting.

When I walked out of the office I was kind of angry with them, and then I was annoyed with myself, and now I'm annoyed with them again. This WHOLE TIME I've been waiting, I could have had an appointment scheduled with this specialist. The blood draw was in January. F**king JANUARY. I've been asking Nurse "NBU" since JANUARY if the test results had implications.

ARRRRGH!

Okay, but now for the rest of the stuff:

I had a good appointment with the doctor. Asked him about weight and stress, and PCOS. He said that if I do have PCOS, it can't hurt to try to lose 5 or more pounds. Believe it or not, some studies that he's read have shown that losing even 5 or 10 pounds can improve the symptoms of PCOS. So hopefully that will be the kick in the ass that I need to lose some weight. (I wanted to lose some anyway, so hopefully this will be my motivation.)

I told him that the OPKs stressed me out, and he confirmed my question about stress making people ovulate late sometimes.

He also said the words that I really have been looking for from the beginning: "Let's GET you pregnant, and THEN treat you." That means no OPKs, and no progesterone until AFTER I get a positive test. (For now, anyway.)

So the new plan is to see the specialist, then see Dr. N again (I have an appointment already scheduled this time) and then try to get knocked up "the old fashioned way."

The moral of this story is that if I had been more of a bee-otch in the beginning, and insisted that I either talk with or meet with the Doctor about my test results, I probably would already have seen the specialist and would be trying this month. The big thing I've learned about this office is that I need to be my own advocate because they're too busy for hand holding.

Then again, fate works in strange ways, and maybe this was really the way it was supposed to happen after all.