Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Wish I were more of a b**ch

Before I begin this post, I have to ask you all to please NOT tell me to change doctors. This practice is the closest practice to me that delivers at the hospital where I want to deliver. While I'm not thrilled with their attentiveness, I do have the feeling that they know what they're doing. From now on, I just need to be more assertive with regard to my own care.

That being said...

When I walked into the fertility doc's (Dr. N.'s) office, he reviewed my HSG results and my bloodwork. The HSG was normal (which I knew) and the blood work was mostly normal except for an elevated anticardiolipin level. I knew that too, but for weeks I've been asking the nurse to tell me exactly what that means, and when she couldn't, (on any of the multiple occasions that I asked her) I finally gave up. (After all, Dr. Google reassured me that elevated anticardiolipin levels are often treated with baby aspirin, which I was on last cycle.) Nurse "nice but useless" was clearly not concerned enough about my test result to offer a follow-up appointment with the doctor.

Dr. N. started telling me about the anticardiolipin level and its implications (e.g. blood clotting issues.) Long story short: he's concerned. He's very concerned that this is a major factor in my inability to maintain a pregnancy. (Nurse "NBU" did not seem concerned at all, and had just told me to "call again next cycle" when I ovulate and "we'll try again".)

Dr. N. is concerned enough about this issue that he's referring me to yet another specialist: a high risk specialist, who will either be able to diagnose/treat the problem, or who will refer me to a hematologist (blood specialist) for further evaluation. Dr. N. wants the high risk person to decide if she thinks I am okay with just baby aspirin, or if I should move to something like Hepa.rin. Bad news is that the high risk person is only in their office once a month, and that's not until April 28th. Dr. N. doesn't want us to try again until I see the high risk doctor.

F**K. (Or, no f**k, depending on how you look at it.)

Guess we can throw that "fate" post out the window. Or maybe this is fate. Interesting.

When I walked out of the office I was kind of angry with them, and then I was annoyed with myself, and now I'm annoyed with them again. This WHOLE TIME I've been waiting, I could have had an appointment scheduled with this specialist. The blood draw was in January. F**king JANUARY. I've been asking Nurse "NBU" since JANUARY if the test results had implications.


Okay, but now for the rest of the stuff:

I had a good appointment with the doctor. Asked him about weight and stress, and PCOS. He said that if I do have PCOS, it can't hurt to try to lose 5 or more pounds. Believe it or not, some studies that he's read have shown that losing even 5 or 10 pounds can improve the symptoms of PCOS. So hopefully that will be the kick in the ass that I need to lose some weight. (I wanted to lose some anyway, so hopefully this will be my motivation.)

I told him that the OPKs stressed me out, and he confirmed my question about stress making people ovulate late sometimes.

He also said the words that I really have been looking for from the beginning: "Let's GET you pregnant, and THEN treat you." That means no OPKs, and no progesterone until AFTER I get a positive test. (For now, anyway.)

So the new plan is to see the specialist, then see Dr. N again (I have an appointment already scheduled this time) and then try to get knocked up "the old fashioned way."

The moral of this story is that if I had been more of a bee-otch in the beginning, and insisted that I either talk with or meet with the Doctor about my test results, I probably would already have seen the specialist and would be trying this month. The big thing I've learned about this office is that I need to be my own advocate because they're too busy for hand holding.

Then again, fate works in strange ways, and maybe this was really the way it was supposed to happen after all.


gallerygirl said...

Wow- I do not blame you for being angry! I would be, too! My hope is that all of these things falling into place will now lead to your having a healthy babe.

I do understand sticking up for yourself- Even just a few weeks ago the only reason I found out I was given the wrong blood results was because I insisted on getting tested again ASAP. You really do need to be your own advocate. Good luck!!

Stacie said...

Naw, you don't need to wish yourself to be more of a b*tch. Just chalk this one up and think of it as a minor set back. I know it must suck, but please don't beat yourself up. You learned a lesson--now, move on!

I am happy to hear that your appointment provided you with answers. That is very reassuring.

Karen said...

Wow. That sucks. But maybe you can kind of use this time to relax some. I mean, there won't be any stress or pressure from worrying if you'll conceive or if the baby is OK. You can maybe just take a step back from it for a bit, and maybe that could be good. And in a small way, this is good news. It means you may have an answer as to what's been going wrong so that it won't happen in the future. It sucks that you didn't get the support you needed from Ms. F-ed in the head nurse, but at least now you have an idea of what the next steps are.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you're having to wait. It can be hard to navigate all this doctor business, when to push for an appointment and when not to.
I'm glad you won't have the stress of opks/progesterone to deal with. I had a few cycles where I took progesterone in the 2ww but eventually gave that up. With this baby I started taking it once I got my positive hpt.

Anonymous said...

Argh, that would be annoying not being able to get in til the end of the month. Do you mind if I ask you what your weight is? I'm in such a battle of what a "healthy-conception" weight should be.

Christa said...

I can totally relate with your frustrations. I'm still waiting to get an appointment with a specialist. It sucks that secretaries or nurses whom have no experience in treating recurrent pregnancy loss think that they can tell us what is right for us. When we beg and plead to please see a doctor they only see us as a number and refuse us the treatment we deserve. It's just not right. Like you, I've learned to be a bitch and not take no for an answer anymore. You're not alone!

As funny as it sounds the clotting issues you may possibly have are a linked to miscarriage, so if there's a silver lining...it's that it's a treatable condition. I really hope for you that it's a simple solution and that you go on to have more children. Stay strong.