When do the candid cameras come in?

Well, things didn't really get better, (in fact, I would venture to say that they've gotten progressively worse) but I think I've adjusted to the suckage of everything and am trying to roll with it.

We're keeping the appointment on Monday even though we'll have to pay for it out of pocket (holy crap is it expensive!) because the freaking PCP's BigHugeCorporation won't give an out of state referral, even though the doctor ALSO practices in state. (I may have mentioned that a few. dozen. times.)

I'm a serious type-A personality. I hate when things aren't organized, and I hate having to flip through things to find something. A few weeks ago I channeled my heartbreak and anger into a five page single spaced medical history detailing my entire history of illness (not much) and pregnancy/pregnancy loss. We're talking exact dates, here, even down to periods I missed in 1999 and 2000. It took hours. Now, whenever a doctor asks me a question about my family's medical issues, my own medical issues in terms of what/when/where, I'll be able to find it at my fingertips.

It's looking like a mighty good thing that I'm so anal right about now, because it looks like that might be all the doctor has to go by on Monday. Believe it or not, they still haven't received my medical history in the mail (and the mail already came today.) There's a chance that it will show up in Saturday's mail, but I'm not holding my breath. For some reason, I'm not feeling particularly lucky right now.

Please, please, please, let the doctor tell me that she thinks she can figure this thing out, and that she has a better answer than, "roll the dice again..."