And the gymnastics continue...

34 w 4 d and baby girl is back to head down position. I'm not going to waste my time celebrating this time, since she's been in a different position every week for the past three weeks. She is definitely a monkey. Last night I sat on the sofa and watched my belly move for a good three hours. It's amazing how fascinating that can be. I had a pretty good idea that she had flipped just from the types of kicks and movements I was feeling and where I was feeling them. I also think she had the hiccups last night for a while, which I love. :)

My blood pressure was 110/68 today!! I guess maybe I do have some control over it (damnit) and all of the left side sleeping, sodium controlling, and feet elevating have been helping. (I just say damnit because I don't like doing any of those things...)

Baby's biophysical profile is 8/8 again, so she's doing really well. I'm still feeling great, too.

Now on a completely different topic, I went to see my therapist a couple of weeks ago, and decided that I needed to start talking to her about the "after." (No, I haven't packed a hospital bag, and no, we don't have any definite names picked out, but I'm starting to really realize that 5 1/2 weeks isn't very long, and "after" is coming up very soon!)

I am so thrilled that we have a baby girl coming home in a little more than a month, but the truth is, I'm scared. I've raised a newborn. I know what it's like. I know that I don't cope well with sleep deprivation. I know that breastfeeding is very hard. I know that people who have had postpartum depression once are likely to have it again.

I was very glad to have a chance to talk these fears over with my therapist. Of course there's nothing she can really say to reassure me that everything will be fine. It will be hard. I will feel overwhelmed sometimes. However, it's nice to know that I've voiced these fears to someone who will ask me about them after the baby's born, and probe to make sure that things are being addressed if they need to be. For one thing, she said to bring up my postpartum depression fears with my doctor before I deliver, so that he will be aware of it, and if I need medication, he will be on top of it. (I'm not good at admitting defeat in the moment, so having someone who knows what to look for ahead of time will be helpful.)

38 days (or so) until I get to find out how everything pans out...