Not much to report

I'm posting an update for my benefit as much as yours.

I guess I'm still pregnant until proven otherwise. That being said, I have no real symptoms to speak of. There was a time or two when I felt a twinge of heartburn (and I normally NEVER have heartburn) and one or two times before I ate when I thought I might be a little nauseous. Oh, and my left nipple has been sore, but only occasionally. Random. Other than that, nada. I guess the only thing that is a true "symptom" would be my period being two weeks late. Oh, there's that...

I do, of course, have a yea.st infec.tion from all the progesterone, which will stay with me for the next month and a half until I stop the prog.esterone. Always a lovely time.

Using my best guess (since I wasn't keeping track) I should be around 6 weeks today. My first u/s is next week, and I'm actually not nervous yet. I can't decide if that's because I already think the pregnancy is doomed, or if I'm just more relaxed now that I have my two kiddos. Planning to keep myself busy as much as possible. One thing that kind of sucks is that the musical that I'm in is opening on 4/13, so if I end up having to have a D&E or D&C next week (which I would definitely elect to do again) it would mean scheduling difficulties and a SUPER busy week following the procedure. On the other hand, it will keep me very busy and give me less time to dwell in my own pool of sadness.

In spite of the above negativity, I really am feeling pretty relaxed so far. I keep thinking that it's very early, and the symptoms could kick in at any moment (and if they do, I'll wish I hadn't wished for them!)

Proof that things don't always go as planned

Remember how I mentioned that we were considering #3, and that we were not trying right now because of Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Well, I'm pregnant. For the 6th time.

And here's the story.

We've been "trying" since the end of October and I was getting kind of frustrated with roadblocks each month. October, we decided late to start trying so my OPK was already positive the first day I tested. No idea if I had already O'd or not. We tried anyway, but I didn't have a lot of hope. Nov, we started trying, but stopped trying when I hadn't O'd by day 16 or so. December, we started trying early, but were so exhausted with the holidays that we missed some crucial days. January, I thought we actually had a good chance, but got a negative test. So all in all, there was a lot of se.x being had those four months.

Now, welcome to present day. We decided to skip last month because my LMP would bring me to a due date of November 19th, which was kind of close to Thanksgiving. So I didn't do OPKs and I didn't take Pro.gesterone, and I really didn't pay attention to anything. We had a little magic moment (haha) late-ish in the month. After the fact, T said something like, so I guess we're trying this month after all, and I said, no, I would be really shocked if I were pregnant because it was long after my fertile time.

So my period was due on Monday, and I usually spot before it. This month, nothing. I decided to take a test on Monday, and I blew off the faint line that I thought I saw as "my eyes playing tricks on me." Tuesday, I had a little twinge of tenderness in my nipples and I started analyzing my boobs for signs of growth. Wednesday, I tested again. Still a faint line, but definitely there.

I started prog.estrone last night, and I called my doctor and said that we should probably combine my annual (scheduled for the 21st) with a first u/s at a later date.

I'm feeling oddly calm about the whole thing. I don't have any symptoms, but I don't remember when those usually start. I guess I may need a little more HCG in system before the hardcore symptoms begin.

I'll keep you all updated. I'm nervous, but I don't have any control right now, so I have to leave it in the hands of fate.

What's up with me?

I know this is mostly a miscarriage space, but I just wanted to give an update on what's going on with me to anyone who's still reading, because I get sad when people just disappear! :)

So I'm turning 35 in 10 days. Advanced maternal age. I don't really mind turning 35, but I think I'd like to stop here. After 35 everything starts to feel a little too "middle aged" to me. I'm still YOUNG, people. What's up with that??

Speaking of advanced maternal age, the idea of a third little peanut is still on the table, but not right at the moment. We don't really want a Thanksgiving or Christmas baby. The more I think about it, the more I want another one. (We both do now...) And the more I think about that, the more excited I get about the idea of getting rid of all the baby stuff one by one after we use it one last time!!

That leads me to the topic of clutter. I've been fixated on the idea of simplifying my life, getting rid of excess "stuff" that we have and trying to live a little "cleaner." I'm pretty thrifty (which I may have mentioned once... or maybe a hundred times.) Over the past few months I've streamlined my grocery shopping to one trip per week, and a total of $200 in giftcards per month to my primary grocery store. This does not include B.J's trips or special trips to stores to grab a couple of great sales items. It's going awesome so far. The de-cluttering is going slowly, but I'm getting more motivated all the time - especially by some of the couponing and simplifying blogs that I follow.

The other thing that I've done for myself recently was getting into community theater. I've always loved to sing, and I finally bit the bullet last fall and joined a local group. We performed The S.ound of Mu.sic in the fall, and we're performing Ti.tanic - the Musical this spring. I'm having so much fun, and it's making my life so much more fulfilling. It also helps me to stay sane as a stay at home mom. I have a total of 7.5 hours of rehearsal time each week, which I really enjoy, and it makes me a better and more patient mom.

The kids are doing great. D is starting kindergarten in the fall (!) and E is so incredibly cute and sassy. SO sassy. Her favorite word is no, I think, and for now it's cute.

After a winter free of almost ALL snow (practically unheard of for Massa.chusetts) we're in the middle of a storm right now. The natives are restless, and I have to go throw some food in their troughs. :)