Mid-summer nesting

Sorry I haven't updated in a while.  Everything is still going well.  I've been keeping busy with cleaning and organizing and generally doing stuff that I won't be able to do for at least a year after this kid is born.

I actually even switched out my maternity clothes with my regular clothes in my closet.  That was a big step for me, and I have to tell you that pretty much the whole time I was doing it, I had a looming sense of dread, and the feeling that I was taking a big risk by committing to a positive outcome. 

Any time I talk about how I've kept some baby girl clothes "just in case," T tends to give me the look or say something about "why I can't just be optimistic."   We had one such conversation the other night before watching Secret Millionaire (which I totally love, in case you care.)  In the conversation, I reminded him that our odds aren't that great - two live babies to three dead ones.  At the beginning of the show, the millionaire revealed that he had lost his third child to a still birth at a late gestation.  T said, "I get it," (in a kind, not sarcastic or annoyed way) knowing that I was about to give him the "I told you so" look. 

On the symptom front, I have cankles.  I mean, they're not as bad as some pregnant women (who I really feel bad for by the way) but for me, they're pretty bad.  I hope to God they're just from eating too much sodium and from the ridiculously hot humid weather the past few weeks.  It could also be from all the standing while I clean and while I was getting ready for the kids' birthday party which was last weekend.

They're 5 and 2 now.  E's birthday was yesterday, and D's birthday was on Wednesday.   I can hardly believe that they're that old already.  D starts KINDERGARTEN in September.  I have a kindergartener.  Holy crap.  Along those lines, I figured out the other day that I graduated from High School 17 years ago.  When I say "I'm 35" I don't feel as old as when I say, "I graduated from High School 17 years ago."

Halfway point

So, 20 weeks... 

and

It's a

BOY!

I'm excited about D having a brother to play with.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed about not being able to use all those adorable baby girl clothes again.  I also think about the close relationship that a lot of mothers and daughters have, and only hope that I can still have that same type of close relationship with my boys.

All that being said, I think E will do MUCH better as an only girl.  She's quite the prima donna, and I don't know if she'd adjust well to sharing the spotlight with another girl.  I also hear that those teenage years are a lot rougher with girls than boys.  (I should know that since I was no picnic as a teenager!!)  All in all, I think it's going to be a very good thing. 

I've been feeling lots of movement from gumdrop for the past two weeks, though it's still not constant.  My placenta is anterior (and still "low lying") so supposedly it's a little harder to feel movement as early as with a placenta that is posterior.

As hard for me as it is to believe, we're having a birthday party this weekend for D's 5th, and E's 2nd birthdays.  Their birthdays aren't until next week, but this weekend was the only one that worked for the party.  They just keep growing and growing...