I wrote my first blog entry on Wednesday, September 17, 2008. I had just had my first miscarriage. It seems like it was so much longer ago than that. I re-read that post, and it seems like those feelings and that sadness happened longer ago than just two years.
Life is fast these days. There's a lot going on in this house with a husband, a cat, a two-month old and a three year old. Let's just say that trying to get my s**t together in time to get D to preschool by 9 am is not easy. Before I leave, I get myself showered and dressed, get D fed and dressed, E fed and dressed, make coffee for myself and attempt to find time to shove some food into my system, and I pump twice. I realize I don't really have to be showered to drop him off, but so far that's my goal.
Preschool has had a rocky start. D didn't cry when I dropped him off the first day, but cried multiple times that day after I left. Then the next two days, he cried bloody murder when I dropped him off, but didn't cry after that. On the bright side, he did NOT have to be potty trained, so that's one battle I don't have to fight. I *think* he's starting to like it better, so hopefully drop-off won't continue to be a battle.
This life is not always easy, but it's amazingly rewarding to look at my family and know how much love there is in this house. I wish I could go back to the me of my very first blog post and tell her that the road would be rocky, but it would all turn out okay.
Thank you all for telling me not to sweat the small stuff so much. In the end, it doesn't matter how long I breastfeed (which I'm still trying to do because I guess I'm a masochist.) It doesn't matter that my house isn't "company ready" at all times. It doesn't matter if I yell at D more than I would like, because at the end of the day, he knows that he's safe here, and he knows that I love him.
Full circle. From devastating loss to overwhelming love. I am so lucky.
Mengatasi Aborsi Aman
1 year ago