The long and the short (and the fat) of it

I've struggled with my weight for my whole life. I will continue to struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. I'm 5' 8", and I'm a sturdy girl. In answer to Yaya's question about my weight, I would say that if I lost maybe 20 pounds, I'd consider myself to be "thin." (Even 10 pounds would make a nice big difference.)

On the scale, I'm only six pounds heavier than when I conceived D. However, I haven't worked out as much as I used to before D was born, so in spite of only a six pound difference, there's probably at least a 10 pound "shift." (You know, muscle and fat and all that stuff that sucks to talk about.)

A lot of people who are trying to conceive struggle with their weight. There are a variety of reasons for this. For many people, the fertility drugs they're taking can cause weight gain. Let's face it: any time you add hormones, you're messing with a delicate balance! For some, like me, it's the stress of the process and the feeling of "well, I'm not pregnant, so why the hell shouldn't I eat ice cream and drink margaritas?" that really makes me gain weight.

So as I told you all after my doctor's appointment, I'm on a mission to lose a few pounds. How many pounds has yet to be determined, but I'd really like to firm things up and lose between 8 and 10 pounds, as a rough goal.

I started my mission last Wednesday. I worked out several times over the course of the week, ate very well, and actually spent a majority of Sunday doing major yard work, which I'll count as at least three hardcore workout sessions in a row. (8am - 3:30 pm with very few breaks.)

This morning I weighed in 3 pounds lighter. I'm kind of bummed. I was hoping for more, but I have to remind myself that 1.) This is not the Biggest Loser, and I'm not going to lose 10 pounds in a week, and 2.) This is real weight loss, not the kind where you know you had a light dinner the night before so you step on the scale in the morning and you're suddenly two pounds down.

When trying to conceive, we always worry that there's something more we could be doing - some small difference in our routines that will be the "change that we need" to get the positive pee stick. In the end, for me it's going to have to be about doing the best I can, and then letting the big guy in the sky do the rest of the work.

I don't think there's any "magic number" when it comes to losing "enough" weight (apparently especially important for those with PCOS,) but I'm of the mindset that every little bit helps, so here I go into week 2...

Fertility Specialist

We had our first appointment today with the infertility doc. He was very, very nice and I'm excited to have someone who's interested in KEEPING me pregnant the next time. Here's where we are.

1. Wait for first period after D&E.
2. Get blood drawn after period ends and before ovulation.
3. Wait for second period after D&E.
4. Get hysterosalpingogram. (Also called HSG or tubogram.) This is an injection of dye into my uterus and x-ray to make sure there are no abnormalities. Doc says that a septum can exist even though we have had one healthy baby, and it can make it very difficult to conceive again. He's seen it before.
5. Try to get pregnant on second cycle while taking Progesterone and baby aspirin. (Progesterone and baby aspirin were what I was expecting.)

The thing that is weighing on my mind is PCOS. He said, "I'm not saying that you necessarily have it, but it's possible." See, I spot for a couple days before I get full flow. I never knew that it was abnormal to do that because I guess I don't really chat about my cycle with a lot of people, but apparently most people just get the full flow right away. I also have more hair (luckily most of it is very blond) on my face, arms, etc. than most people. I have also struggled with my weight for my whole life. I was an obese teenager, and finally got my weight more under control during college. Now I'm at a weight that I'm comfortable with, but still maybe 15-20 pounds more than where I'd like to be. All these things can be signs of PCOS.**

When I was between 16 and 20 I brought an article that I ripped out of Good Housekeeping or something to show my doctor. I am not 100% sure, but I think it was about PCOS. I asked her if I could have it because of excessive hair growth, obesity, and very irregular periods (they were then, but not now.) She pretty much told me that she didn't think so, and I'm sure it was because I was obese (which can cause irregular periods and excessive hair growth). It will be interesting to see if maybe I self-diagnosed 10 or 15 years ago...

**Edit: I forgot to add that I have some ovarian cysts, which can be harmless, but they can also be a sign of PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.