Hello, June

I just looked at the date of my last post and was like, WOAH. Hi there. It's June!

I know we all go through this, but I'm at a point where I don't "need" this community as much as I did before. I love to keep updated on what's going on with people and I've become Fa.cebook friends with some of you so that helps. I just don't need the ongoing support in the way that I did when I was pregnant and terrified.

The two kiddos have been keeping me quite busy. Hard to believe that D will be turning four and E will be ONE in July! The year has sped by.

E is crawling at the speed of light and loves to pull up on things. She's not quite furniture walking yet, but she's getting close. She still has only two teeth, but she's doing pretty well with mashing soft food between her gums. I've been making all of her baby food so I'm trying to get a little more creative with what I feed her so that she won't be a picky toddler. D loves fruit and veggies, but his palate is not as developed as I would like and I blame myself for some of that. Hoping to keep E more open to flavors!

D is getting ready to finish up his first year of preschool. He's such a good big brother in so many ways. He and E adore each other, though D does have some issues with jealousy over my needing to tend to E for obvious things she can't do for herself. We're looking forward to trying to teach him to ride a bike with training wheels this summer and hopefully get him in the water on our family vacation.

T and I are doing great. I'm down a little below my pre-pregnancy weight after the sevent.een da.y d.iet adventure that I talked about a few posts ago. (It worked pretty well for us, but was very restrictive, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to anyone.) He lost about 25 lbs. (men... though he did have more to lose than I did.) We went away for a three day trip to VT to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. Had such a nice time. My MIL and FIL stayed with the kids. So nice!

We've tossed the idea of "one more" back and forth and it makes me excited and nervous at the same time. The uncertainty of miscarriage makes it much more complicated. We're still undecided, but don't want to wait too long either, if we decide that's what we want. We want to be DONE with diapers when we're done, you know??!! :)

Spring cleansing

Spring is in the air here in the Northeast! It's a beautiful, breezy Friday and we're going to take a walk this afternoon. :) That makes me very happy.

Here are some updates for you, since I know you've been waiting eagerly for me to post. ;)

*D is a WAY better 3.5 year old than 3 year old. I've heard from a lot of people that the "first half" of each year is tougher than the second. He still has his moments, but for the most part, he amazes me almost on a daily basis with his sweetness.

*E is doing great. She is a little ray of sunshine, pretty much all the time. She's very seldom grumpy, and it's a joy to be her mom.

*Las.ik consultations in January= no go. I am not a candidate for Las.ik right now based on the severity of my astig.matism. I can only hope that over the next few years the lasers will get more advanced so they can handle me. I'm a little bummed that I stopped nursing E, in part, so that I could have this surgery, but at the same time, with the supply issues I was having, it might have been a blessing in disguise.

*T and I just started this wacky cleansing diet on Tuesday. (Still struggling to get off and KEEP off those last few pounds of baby weight, and then some!) The claim is that you can lose 12-15 pounds or more in 17 days. I'm not usually a fad diet girl, but I figured this can be like a detox before starting to eat more carefully. Eating healthy foods is always easier as the weather improves because more delicious produce is available, and at better prices! I'll let you know if I'm still standing after 17 days.

*I appreciate the feedback on my last post. I did end up starting my money-saving blog up again. The main store I'm covering is regional, so if you're not from around here, those posts won't be of interest. However, if you'd like to visit my site for the other tips I'll be giving, or for the links to good coupon and deal websites, you can e-mail me at Wheresmywhitepicketfence@Hotmail.com and I'll send you the web address.

Better

I know you're not supposed to weigh yourself every day because it's not as accurate. That being said, I weighed myself this morning and I was down an additional 1.5 pounds (without starving myself yesterday). I'll still count it with next week's loss, but it makes me feel better. That's because ladies, I busted my A$$ last week for those 4.5 pounds. The first week of a new routine is SUPPOSED to bring on the best weight loss of the whole thing. So I feel better. 4.5 pounds feels a lot better than 3.

What's for lunch?

The long and the short (and the fat) of it

I've struggled with my weight for my whole life. I will continue to struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. I'm 5' 8", and I'm a sturdy girl. In answer to Yaya's question about my weight, I would say that if I lost maybe 20 pounds, I'd consider myself to be "thin." (Even 10 pounds would make a nice big difference.)

On the scale, I'm only six pounds heavier than when I conceived D. However, I haven't worked out as much as I used to before D was born, so in spite of only a six pound difference, there's probably at least a 10 pound "shift." (You know, muscle and fat and all that stuff that sucks to talk about.)

A lot of people who are trying to conceive struggle with their weight. There are a variety of reasons for this. For many people, the fertility drugs they're taking can cause weight gain. Let's face it: any time you add hormones, you're messing with a delicate balance! For some, like me, it's the stress of the process and the feeling of "well, I'm not pregnant, so why the hell shouldn't I eat ice cream and drink margaritas?" that really makes me gain weight.

So as I told you all after my doctor's appointment, I'm on a mission to lose a few pounds. How many pounds has yet to be determined, but I'd really like to firm things up and lose between 8 and 10 pounds, as a rough goal.

I started my mission last Wednesday. I worked out several times over the course of the week, ate very well, and actually spent a majority of Sunday doing major yard work, which I'll count as at least three hardcore workout sessions in a row. (8am - 3:30 pm with very few breaks.)

This morning I weighed in 3 pounds lighter. I'm kind of bummed. I was hoping for more, but I have to remind myself that 1.) This is not the Biggest Loser, and I'm not going to lose 10 pounds in a week, and 2.) This is real weight loss, not the kind where you know you had a light dinner the night before so you step on the scale in the morning and you're suddenly two pounds down.

When trying to conceive, we always worry that there's something more we could be doing - some small difference in our routines that will be the "change that we need" to get the positive pee stick. In the end, for me it's going to have to be about doing the best I can, and then letting the big guy in the sky do the rest of the work.

I don't think there's any "magic number" when it comes to losing "enough" weight (apparently especially important for those with PCOS,) but I'm of the mindset that every little bit helps, so here I go into week 2...