Friday, November 14, 2008

Slippery slope

Blogging in the infertility/miscarriage world is a slippery slope. When you miscarry, you're in the club, and when you get pregnant again, you're not really. It's a strange feeling. It's like you're in some sort of fertility twilight zone. I still want to visit people who are struggling with losses and try to help them through it with comments of encouragement, but what if they don't want me to? For now, I'm back on the "other side" and I've seen on more than one blog that it's really hard for ladies to watch other bloggers get pregnant again when they aren't. (And I can completely understand why it would be.)

So what to do? If everything is kosher with this pregnancy, I'm still only 4 weeks pregnant. Four weeks in nothing. The baby isn't even visible to the naked eye yet. I'm not trying to be morbid, but I'm not ready to put all my eggs in this proverbial basket. I don't really even feel like I'm truly pregnant yet. It's almost odd to say this, but I'm still relating more to those who have lost babies to miscarriage than I am to those who are pregnant.

I am so, so greatful to have another opportunity to be pregnant no matter what happens, but it will never make me forget about my loss or forget about the stories of all the wonderful women who are still waiting for their own miracles.


Anonymous said...

It's tough. I think if you want to leave someone a comment related to loss, then you should. It affected your life and it is part of your story now. It is up to each person to choose whether they can handle reading a pregnant woman's blog or not. For me, sometimes I'd read them and sometimes I would not.
It can be a upsetting to know others are pregnant and you are not, but honestly it was a lot scarier/sadder for me to read the blogs of those who had tried for years/had losses and still didn't have a baby.
It shows you are a very thoughtful person, that you are thinking of others this way.

More ((hugs)) to you. I hope time starts flying by and you can see that little one on the ultrasound screen before you know it.

Anonymous said...

Huh, so true. What an interesting thought.

Anonymous said...

There's an award for you on my blog!

gallerygirl said...

I understand what you mean. When I was pregnant the second time, I felt like I as part of neither club. I think you still give hope to others, so do not disappear!