In general, I'm feeling upbeat and optimistic about the outcome of this pregnancy. I feel the baby kicking a lot, and when I have any doubts, I can pull out the trusty doppler and check on it. At this point, my biggest pregnancy fears are cord accidents and stillbirth. I would love to say that I don't think about those things, but it's the truth. I still worry that we're just not this lucky...
On a less serious note, I'm worried about breastfeeding. Any of you who have had babies or are pregnant have posted anything about breastfeeding fears have probably gotten a comment from me. When people are worried, I generally tell them that it's very, very difficult, and that there is no shame in not being able to breastfeed. I do truly believe that. However, that doesn't mean that I don't want to try again. Last time I failed. I'm terrified of failing again.
My major problems with D were these:
1. Uncooperative baby: He was a stroooooong little sucker right from day one, and he struggled against me as I tried to position his head correctly for a good latch
2. Stress of lack of sleep, trying to close on a house, living out of boxes, and trying to pack the rest of my house all with a brand newborn
3. High blood pressure exacerbated by all of the above stresses
4. Me not drinking enough liquids because of all the above distractions, and not realizing how important hydration is when trying to breastfeed
5. D not gaining enough weight because of the lack of good latch and (probably) my dehydration
6. Hour and a half round trips to the new house for pediatrician appointments, lawyer/realtor meetings, etc, all the while trying to juggle BFing a newborn in a variety of less than ideal places
I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid of breastfeeding "support" groups that will make me feel more like a failure if I feel like I can't do it again. I'm worried about "wasting" money on formula, when I have two perfectly good boobs that should be able to feed my baby.
What I'm not worried about is raising a baby on formula, or not bonding with them because of not breastfeeding. I know that formula grows babies just fine, and I've had no problem bonding with D due to not breastfeeding him. I just have a lot of good reasons for wanting to breastfeed, and I don't want to fail again.
Mengatasi Aborsi Aman
1 year ago