Milestones

Yesterday marked two things: 24 weeks in this pregnancy, and the day that we would have celebrated Grey's first birthday. It seems amazing to think that I would have a one year old today if I hadn't had my first miscarriage. In all honesty, I wasn't as sad as I expected to be. I still wish that he/she had made it, but it's amazing what a year and a half of healing can do for you.

Instead of lamenting what could have been, I'm choosing to celebrate the amazing life that is growing inside of me today, and hoping for the best.

Due date

Today is baby Grey's due date. I thought I would have a harder time with the day, but I'm really doing okay. I guess that's because today isn't the day I lost Grey. Really, that was months and months ago, and I've already had time to grieve. My husband said to me today, "will this help with closure for you?" I told him that I honestly don't know if there will be a year when I don't think about Grey on March 26th. I don't cry all the time anymore, though. I don't even think about the babies every day really. Today is my day though. This is the day when I'll remember that Grey should be here and he/she isn't.

To remember Grey, we went out and bought some balloons and I wrote a short note on one of them. We went onto the back porch and released them into the sky. Each year I'm sure it will get a little easier, and I may not always feel the need to commemorate the day in such a way... but for this year, that's what I needed to do.

Names in the sand

An amazing website... I'm speechless, actually. To Write Their Names in the Sand is a website where you can go and request your babies names to be written and photographed on a beautiful beach at sunset. To me, the symbolism of the names being there for just a brief moment and then being washed away is really deep and meaningful. I'm so touched by what these amazing people are doing. The most amazing thing is that they're doing this for no charge. In this world where everyone is in it to get SOMETHING, these people are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts to help people.

So to honor my lost babies...

Grey and Cary





Grey and Cary
EDD: 3/26/2009 and 7/20/2009
Left us too soon in August and December 2008

We will always love you and miss you, and we can't wait to meet you in heaven. Please take care of each other until we get there.

Love, Mommy, Daddy, and D