Priceless

After all of this sh*t and this sh*t, all of my blood results are in (and normal, including anti-cardiolipin) EXCEPT for my Karyotype, which my primary care is now saying they have NO RECORD of ever drawing.

Un-f*cking-believable.

UPDATE: My awesome nurse (at the new doctor's office) called directly into the lab and they DID have the results, and my chromosomes are normal. 46.

Doctor's appointments

This week I finally had my two doctor's appointments. The first was on Tuesday with the high risk doctor.

Details from High Risk doc:
1. Re-tested anticardiolipin levels to see if they are still elevated. (results are not back yet)
2. Tested for thyroid issues. Normal.
3. Tested blood sugar. Normal.
4. Decided not to put me on Hep.arin because it's a pretty heavy-duty drug (and a twice daily injection) and she doesn't think I need more than baby aspirin.
5. Suggested that I get an ultrasound every 4-6 weeks after 20 weeks if/when I do get pregnant again to check for any blood clots forming. (Awesome!!) The reason for this is because of the potential threat of late term loss due to clotting issues. (Not awesome.)
6. Suggested I can start taking baby aspirin right now, and take it daily through 36 weeks of pregnancy. (Taking it longer can lead to going past your due date.) ***See note below

The second "follow-up" appointment with the fertility doc (Doctor N) was today.

Details from Doctor N:
1. Reviewed blood test results that are back from Tuesday.
2. Reviewed appointment with the high risk doc.
3. Got the go-ahead to try on our own again this cycle. If I get preggo I will go on progesterone again, this time after I get a positive pregnancy test.
4. Dr. N suggested that if we don't get preggo this cycle, we should try Clo.mid next cycle. He said that he has had great success with Clo.mid for people like me - with symptoms of PCOS and low progesterone/lots of spotting prior to the crimson b**ch. It helps the body to produce its own progesterone.
5. ***Dr. N disagrees with high risk doc about the timing of the baby aspirin. (He says: "Getting you pregnant is our department. Keeping you pregnant is hers." :) ) According to Dr. N, the baby aspirin can interfere with ovulation and inplantation, so I'll start taking it after I get preggo.
6. Dr. N agrees that ultrasounds every 4-6 weeks after 20 weeks to check for clots is a good idea. (Yay!)


The long and the short of it is that I'm hoping we don't even have to think about the clo.mid. I've lost a total of about 7 pounds so far since my appointment with Dr. N, and I've upped my exercise. I feel like a perfect house for a little being. I'm very optimistic about this cycle. I'd like to say that I won't be disappointed if I don't get pregnant, but I'd be lying... 'Course, I haven't even ovulated yet, so I'm putting the cart before the horse, but you know... :) Let's go, T's men!!!

Chillin'

Yup, I'm just chillin' here. I'm feeling pretty level, if that makes sense. The crimson bitch did arrive, (after all of the TP checking madness, I wasn't crazy!) Now I feel like I have a purpose. I'm still waiting, but now I know what I'm waiting for. Soon I'll be getting blood work done, and that will make me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Then I'll be waiting for the next period and waiting for the HSG. Again, it will feel like something useful and concrete to be waiting for. So I'm chillin'. *happy sigh*

What's next?

We opted not to do chromosome testing on the embryo because it would be around $700 and not covered by insurance until the 3rd miscarriage unless "medically necessary." Plus, the doctor said the results are almost always inconclusive. We will have blood tests done, but again, they may not tell us much. As the doctor said, a lot of things they test for are automatically ruled out by the fact that I've already had a successful pregnancy.

So basically, waiting and then rolling the dice again is where we're at. It sucks.

I'm not particularly sensitive about things that people say like "it wasn't meant to be" or "there was something wrong with the baby" because I honestly (so far) believe that. It's definitely harder to keep that perspective the second time, but I'm still going with it... (especially considering the fact that my body didn't expel the embryo again, which gives me hope that my uterus isn't the problem.) However, I do agree with other bloggers who have written that people expect that you should be over it after a certain amount of time. That's just not the case. There will be two birthdays in 2009 that I will not be celebrating, and two people that should have been my children who will never see the world. You don't get over that.