Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wine glass watcher paranoia

First, a quick thank you to everyone for all the support over the past few weeks. I'm still a little bit of a basketcase, but I haven't had anymore abdominal pain, so I'm feeling much more restful. I'm still nauseous and tired, and have super sore boobs. All good signs of a growing baby.

I'm at a point in the pregnancy where I'm experiencing some major pregnancy paranoia. For instance, my Mom came over today and we got subs. I got a veggie sub to avoid deli meat. She probably thought nothing of it, but I felt the need to tell her that I don't like Subw.ay's turkey as much as D'an.gelo's (which is actually true). This past weekend, we had dinner with my brother's family and my cousin. I played up the idea of being reeeeeeeally tempted to have a margarita, but said that I had a headache so I thought I better not. Every time I'm put in that type of situation, I feel like I need to over-emphasize why I'm not drinking or doing such-and-such. (This morning, I was SO nauseous while my Mom was here, so I didn't have coffee. Then I got really tired and had to tell her it was because of no coffee, which was only partially true!) Mom did tell me today that I look like I've lost weight (haha!) so maybe she hasn't caught on.

T and I haven't even talked about when we might tell our parents and siblings about this pregnancy, assuming that it lasts. I've gone through some changes of heart on the subject. After the first m/c, I didn't tell my parents I was pregnant again until the baby had already died. That kind of sucked, so I decided I would tell them sooner the third time so that at least I would have someone to be happy with, for however long it lasted. That kind of sucked too because it meant having another person worrying about a pregnancy that might not last. (That one was a pretty rocky pregnancy from the start.) This time, I haven't really put a label on when or who or what, with regard to telling, but I just know that I'm not ready yet. I don't want to think too far ahead.

I will say that right now, after Monday's good heartbeat, I'm feeling fairly calm. If the progesterone was the issue, I think we could actually have a baby in July. If the luteal ph.ase defect was the issue, I think we could actually have a baby in July. If something else was the issue, then who knows. But the one thing I know right now is that I'm pregnant right at this moment, and I am very, very grateful for that.

7 comments:

Dawn said...

I can completely understand your over emphasizing. I keep doing it too. Happy that you are doing so well and that your pregnancy is going good.

Shannon said...

Firstly, congrats on the baby and heartbeat, that is a major milestone!
I think you will know when the time is right to tell your family.

Em said...

I've been overemphasizing, too. My mom watched the boys when I had my appt on Monday. I told her it was because I was having issues with scar tissue...which we did have to check out! ;) Anyway, I was wearing a big hoodie (because I am starting to show) and she asked me what in the world I had in my belly pocket. Luckily I had a few packages of fruit snacks, a tissue and a cell phone. I think she suspects...

I hope we both (and Dawn) have babies in July!

Em said...

Sorry. I'm back. Is there something wrong with deli meat?

Yaya said...

My sister in law didn't drink anything on Thanksgiving and the second they left we all looked at each other and said "She's Pregnant". Lol!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on having strong symtoms still. I can relate to trying to hide horrible nausea (and puking!)

I'm glad so far this pregnancy is going well.

Em, most doc's recommended either avoiding deli meat or heating it in the microwave to steaming to avoid Listeria or bacteria that can be harmful in pregnancy.

Kelley

MoDLin said...

Congrats on that lovely heartbeat. There's no right or wrong time to let others know - only when it's right for you. I'm glad I know and am smiling for you. :-)