Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Complete 180

Somehow since my last post, I'm a mess. I'm crying at the drop of a hat, and most of all, I'm worrying constantly. I'm not even worried about miscarriage now. I'm now worried about what the progesterone will do to me, whether I have PCOS, and worst of all - about stillbirth. I'm already freaking out about the fact that people don't ALWAYS get to take home the baby after 40 weeks. I checked out the recent additions to the Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss Blog Directory and it seems like a lot of them are about Stillbirth. I'm not sure if I can look at those anymore... I have so much compassion for people who have gone through it, but I just don't think I can read their stories anymore. I can't bring myself to that place.

4 comments:

Carolyne said...

Hope you're feeling better as the day has progressed. I have days where I'm petrified of falling pregnant again (if I ever manage it) as I fear it'll just end the same as the first. xxx

Amy said...

I'm terrified of stillbirth, too, and I can't read any stories about them right now - I can't make any new friends with people who are going through that (but I'm all about supporting those I already have, don't get me wrong). And I'm with you at the crying at the drop of a hat. What do our husbands do with these emotions, or are their feelings just that different?

Yaya said...

Yup, I randomly freak about that same stuff too.......how I wish I could just have that 'normal happy' feeling all through pregnancy like women who have never suffered a loss get to experience.
I hope you are able to somewhat ease your mind.
(((Hugs))

expectingamiracle said...

I can't let myself think about stillbirth or read about it too much, it freaks me out so much.

It's scary not knowing will happen and wondering about your upcoming tests and so forth...I hope you are feeling better about it all soon.