Monday, February 9, 2009

I think my blog is too depressing

Yup, so I decided to write about more DEATH. Awesome, huh? Well, I was thinking about my grandmother (Dad's mother) the other day. She had four children, and one of them died about 10 days after birth. This was a fact that I knew growing up, but something I never really wondered too much about prior to my own losses.

I've been wondering what kind of support she had after the death. Knowing my grandfather, he was a wonderful person, but I can't see him being the "nurturing and empathetic" type. How did women in that day and age deal with the deaths of their children emotionally? Miscarriage and the death of children is STILL such a taboo topic. I can't imagine how it must have been in the forties.

Since my first miscarriage, I've talked to friends, joined message boards, and started this blog as just the FIRST steps to recovery. As a follow-up to Yaya's post, it's so important to comment on people's blogs when you read. I really, really appreciate all of your wonderful comments, and I try to reciprocate as often as possible.

Reading, writing and commenting are all part of my healing process. I hope that my grandmother's family was enough to pull her through the tough times, because I can't imagine having to go it alone.


A said...

I know exactly what you mean. My paternal grandmother lost her daughter shortly after birth, and I too often wonder what support she had. I think no matter how many years go by, that sadness always remains. No death, especially that of a child, is fair. It breaks my heart to know that people have to endure that kind of pain.

Carolyne said...

I agree about the taboo subject. They say talking about it makes it better but there's a limit.

Like you, blogging has helped me a great deal. I believe 100% that it has aided me in comeing to terms with events and I love how I can gabble on and not have to think about justifying it.
Take care xx

Never Clever said...

It's your blog, and you can be as depressing as you want!

I wish I knew about blogging after my first miscarriage. I endlessly searched message boards despreate to find answers...hope. I was broken. My mom and husband were a huge support, but I needed other women who went through the same thing. It sucks.

About the teething. I was afraid that this may last a while. So far, there is no sign of a toof in her little gums. Baby Tylenol worked wonders last night, but I can't keep giving it to her every night for weeks/months on end.

I loved what you said about your word verification. How perfect! :)
Take it as a sign.

Anonymous said...

That is an interesting thought; how much support was given back then. I mean, we get little to no support in this day in age, I can't imagine going through it back then.

I hate that it's such a taboo topic in western culture.

Cara said...

Oh man - that must make me just plain morbid...I have a whole blog devoted to grief and loss.

Seriously - our losses are part of our lives and the two cannot me mutally exclusive.

Amy said...

I think it's so important that we have this community. I can't imagine what it would be like without the support.

Wifezzilla said...

I know exactly what you mean.

Anonymous said...

I wonder about that too.

My husband's grandma had a miscarriage but she is in denial about it...which was her way of dealing with it.