Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Want to be out

After a pretty good day the past couple of days, I'm having a down day.

One of the reasons I really want to be pregnant - VERY pregnant, not just first trimester pregnant - is that I want to tell my story. I'm so tired of not feeling able to open up to people about my miscarriages. I don't want pity. I certainly don't want to be a topic of conversation behind my back (whether good or bad). I just want a baby.

It's not that when / if I get pregnant that I want to say to people, "look, if I did it, you can do it." That's not helpful. It's just annoying.

What I want to be able to say is, "I understand. I'm sorry. However you feel is okay."

I hope that if I do have another baby, I don't lose this passion. There's not enough of it out there.

7 comments:

cheryllookingforward said...

I understand this. I want to shout to every woman I see that I have had miscarriages. Not in an exciting way, but in a way so they will know that they are not alone if it happens to them.

Karen said...

You'd think that something so common wouldn't be tabboo that way miscarriages are. But you're right. People don't talk about it.

Em said...

Me too. I hope you feel better soon.

Azaera said...

Yes I agree more people need to talk openly about it, not give stupid platitudes.

wifey said...

Oh I totally get this. This time around, for me, I seem to have verbal diarrhea - I've NEVER talked about my story quite so much as I have in the last week. I have come to accept that it is part of who I am, and has shaped me, and if other people are uncomfortable with miscarriage, that's their problem.
That said, I have definitely become the person who walks into the room and stops conversation. And I know people pity me. That part sucks bug fat monkey balls.

Yaya said...

(((HUGS)))

prashant said...

that something so common wouldn't be tabboo that way miscarriages are. But you're right. People don't talk about it. Work From Home