Tuesday, June 8, 2010

And the gymnastics continue...

34 w 4 d and baby girl is back to head down position. I'm not going to waste my time celebrating this time, since she's been in a different position every week for the past three weeks. She is definitely a monkey. Last night I sat on the sofa and watched my belly move for a good three hours. It's amazing how fascinating that can be. I had a pretty good idea that she had flipped just from the types of kicks and movements I was feeling and where I was feeling them. I also think she had the hiccups last night for a while, which I love. :)

My blood pressure was 110/68 today!! I guess maybe I do have some control over it (damnit) and all of the left side sleeping, sodium controlling, and feet elevating have been helping. (I just say damnit because I don't like doing any of those things...)

Baby's biophysical profile is 8/8 again, so she's doing really well. I'm still feeling great, too.

Now on a completely different topic, I went to see my therapist a couple of weeks ago, and decided that I needed to start talking to her about the "after." (No, I haven't packed a hospital bag, and no, we don't have any definite names picked out, but I'm starting to really realize that 5 1/2 weeks isn't very long, and "after" is coming up very soon!)

I am so thrilled that we have a baby girl coming home in a little more than a month, but the truth is, I'm scared. I've raised a newborn. I know what it's like. I know that I don't cope well with sleep deprivation. I know that breastfeeding is very hard. I know that people who have had postpartum depression once are likely to have it again.

I was very glad to have a chance to talk these fears over with my therapist. Of course there's nothing she can really say to reassure me that everything will be fine. It will be hard. I will feel overwhelmed sometimes. However, it's nice to know that I've voiced these fears to someone who will ask me about them after the baby's born, and probe to make sure that things are being addressed if they need to be. For one thing, she said to bring up my postpartum depression fears with my doctor before I deliver, so that he will be aware of it, and if I need medication, he will be on top of it. (I'm not good at admitting defeat in the moment, so having someone who knows what to look for ahead of time will be helpful.)

38 days (or so) until I get to find out how everything pans out...

8 comments:

Em said...

I hope everything goes smoothly! Congrats on baby being head down. I also love watching my belly dance, but sometimes those kicks really hurt!

We're getting closer! :)

Amy said...

Hang in there as you are almost there! I'm sure everything will go just fine!

Dawn said...

Pretty amazing how fast the time goes!! I have struggled with anxiety and depression in the past and am not too proud to share this with my midwife if it means making sure baby girl and I are healthy. I think you are doing a great thing by talking to your therapist ahead of time.

Stacie said...

She's going to be here so soon! YAY!

Laney used to be so active during the day, and then she'd sleep all night (even right after she was born). I used to spend so much time watching my belly move around. I took several videos with my camera, which I still watch. I want to be able to show her some day.

I'm so happy that you're feeling so good at this far along. Awesome!

Azaera said...

Wow getting so close!! I hope it all goes well. The few months after baby is born are so tough, I hope you sail through them.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there...... I am so glad she flipped!

I delivered my little girl today at 40wks 5days and acheived our VBAC! We are resting now but will check in soon!

Kelley

Wendy said...

although I know nothing about raising a baby yet - I think you will pick it right back up because you're a great mom to D and you will do just fine again. Hang in there - getting so close! Glad to hear baby flipped!

Karen said...

It IS hard! But the fact that you are thinking about it is a good thing. Just try to keep in mind that every parent makes mistakes and that the euphoria and bliss is only in the movies. Accept what help is offered and don't be ashamed to ask for more if you need it.