Tuesday, June 15, 2010

35 1/2 weeks and thoughts on healing

Today was my weekly check-up and ultrasound. Everything still looks good, and my blood pressure is fine at 120/70. The ultrasound tech asked if the baby has been measuring small, because she was measuring around the 30th percentile today. She hasn't been, so that was a little worrisome, but the tech also said that for some reason, most of her people had been measuring small today, so we'll check her again in two weeks and make sure she's back on track.

Amniotic fluid is fine, heartbeat is in the 150s and she's practice breathing like crazy. She's been quite active, but I can tell that she's getting bigger because her movements are much more smooth rather than punchy (less room to move around.) According to the tech's measurements, she's about 5 lbs. 8 oz. now, which is only three ounces more than two weeks ago. (Of course, the weight is only an estimate.)

I asked them to look at the heart again because as you may remember, they weren't able to see everything all together at the Lev.el II u/s, the follow-up u/s, or the 32 week survey. The tech said today that everything looks perfect that she can see, so that's a relief.

Oh, I almost forgot... She's still vertex (head down)!!! And she doesn't seem to have moved position much since last week, so maybe she's done flipping. Maybe. :)

I mentioned to T last night that this month marks two years since the beginning of my second pregnancy (my first miscarriage.) Two years. He was a little taken aback by that number because, you know, boys don't really ponder crap like that. On my way home from the doctor's office today, I teared up thinking about my three miscarriages. That show of emotion was just enough to remind me of the bond I have with most of you. We may go on to have babies after all of our troubles, and most of our family and friends may assume that that makes everything we went through to get there "ok," but there will always be a place in our hearts and minds where the pain and trauma is fresh, and the memory will not ever completely fade away.


Stacie said...

Sounds like things are moving along just beautifully. You're so close to having a new baby girl to hold in your arms!

I tear up whenever I think about my miscarriage, even though I went on to carry a baby full term just four short months later. But still. It still hurts, like you said.

Thank you for keeping us all updated on your pregnancy.

Wendy said...

what a great post - always look forward to your updates and was just thinking of you the other day! I feel the same way about my losses - it will never go away and always be a part of us - it's something that made us the women we are today and I hope I will always remember those pregnancies and the hopes and dreams that went along with them, even if they weren't fulfilled at that moment in time, it's still ours to remember.

Em said...

I'm glad everything looked good! That is exciting!

I don't think I will ever be the same person I was before my miscarriages. It still hurts. I'm also glad I found this community, and I guess in a lot of ways I have you to thank for it! :)

Dawn said...

Glad you baby girl is still vertex and the word verification was meaningless..lol.

I completely know where you are coming from in regards to our journey to get here. It's amazing when you take a step back and look at it all. Although at the time it was (and still is) one of the most difficult times I've ever gone through, I am so grateful for this precious gift I have now.

Shawn said...

Glad things are progressing well! You're in the home stretch!

I still think of my losses often, and was reminded tonight when I watched the movie, Away We Go. It was a really sweet movie. A character in it had 5 m/c's and I just burst into tears during that scene (and throughout most of the rest of the movie). The pain will always be there.

Shawn said...
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Anonymous said...

I am so glad she is still headdown and all is looking good, especially with the heart :)

I am still resting and enjoying having my husband off to help with our son and new daughter but I will email you details soon!

I am so happy that you are going to meet your little girl soon!


CeCe said...

Happy to hear all is going well- your due date is approaching!! :)

So true: there will always be a place in our hearts and minds where the pain is fresh.

Karen said...

I know exactly what you mean about the pain never completely going away. It's been years since my miscarriage and it doesn't have the same sting, but it's hard because a part of me is still sure that someone is missing from our family.