Doctor's appointments

This week I finally had my two doctor's appointments. The first was on Tuesday with the high risk doctor.

Details from High Risk doc:
1. Re-tested anticardiolipin levels to see if they are still elevated. (results are not back yet)
2. Tested for thyroid issues. Normal.
3. Tested blood sugar. Normal.
4. Decided not to put me on Hep.arin because it's a pretty heavy-duty drug (and a twice daily injection) and she doesn't think I need more than baby aspirin.
5. Suggested that I get an ultrasound every 4-6 weeks after 20 weeks if/when I do get pregnant again to check for any blood clots forming. (Awesome!!) The reason for this is because of the potential threat of late term loss due to clotting issues. (Not awesome.)
6. Suggested I can start taking baby aspirin right now, and take it daily through 36 weeks of pregnancy. (Taking it longer can lead to going past your due date.) ***See note below

The second "follow-up" appointment with the fertility doc (Doctor N) was today.

Details from Doctor N:
1. Reviewed blood test results that are back from Tuesday.
2. Reviewed appointment with the high risk doc.
3. Got the go-ahead to try on our own again this cycle. If I get preggo I will go on progesterone again, this time after I get a positive pregnancy test.
4. Dr. N suggested that if we don't get preggo this cycle, we should try Clo.mid next cycle. He said that he has had great success with Clo.mid for people like me - with symptoms of PCOS and low progesterone/lots of spotting prior to the crimson b**ch. It helps the body to produce its own progesterone.
5. ***Dr. N disagrees with high risk doc about the timing of the baby aspirin. (He says: "Getting you pregnant is our department. Keeping you pregnant is hers." :) ) According to Dr. N, the baby aspirin can interfere with ovulation and inplantation, so I'll start taking it after I get preggo.
6. Dr. N agrees that ultrasounds every 4-6 weeks after 20 weeks to check for clots is a good idea. (Yay!)


The long and the short of it is that I'm hoping we don't even have to think about the clo.mid. I've lost a total of about 7 pounds so far since my appointment with Dr. N, and I've upped my exercise. I feel like a perfect house for a little being. I'm very optimistic about this cycle. I'd like to say that I won't be disappointed if I don't get pregnant, but I'd be lying... 'Course, I haven't even ovulated yet, so I'm putting the cart before the horse, but you know... :) Let's go, T's men!!!

Feeling like me again

This post is partially about my son, so please be forewarned. I will not be offended if you don't want to read it...

D is 21 months old this month. He's turning into a little person. He's getting independent - like, when we go somewhere he can get his shoes, socks, and coat. Even though he can't put them on yet, he actually does things that are helpful, like a real little kid. It's amazing and wonderful to watch.

Last spring, he was just crawling. If I wanted to work outside, he had to be sleeping or T had to be home too. This spring, we go outside for walks, I do yard work, I wash my car - all with D by my side. I've started really jogging again with his baby jogger, which is awesome. We go to stores and he's fascinated by just looking around. He's usually really well-behaved in public. We go to his playgroup once a week. I meet up for playdates and I have friends with kids to hang out with. I finally feel like ME again. The one thing that's changed is that D and I are now an inseparable pair, but we can do most of the same things I used to do before I had him. I'm really enjoying this year.

I got pregnant with Grey in June of last year, so we're getting darn close to a year of trying. I want SO much to be pregnant and have another baby. HOWEVER, I've found the thought creeping into my head that a new baby is going to start everything over from scratch - just when I had finally begun to feel like myself again. Having a baby is hard. Every single day, it's hard. Granted, we bought a house and moved the month after D was born, so it won't be from scratch like THAT was, but it will change everything. There will be a new person to worry about when we go out to stores. I will be OUTNUMBERED in public! There will be breas.tfeeding or bottles to think about. To tell the truth, it's kind of scary. I'd like to think that I'll have a little easier time since I kind of "know what I'm doing" now, but I know that having two kids is not like having two cats.

These doubts are not making me not want to continue trying for another baby, but they're certainly making me think...

Gray hair

So there are two things of note to talk about:

1. Earth Day. I know it was yesterday, but I had to mention it because I love earth day. I'm a recycling fanatic, a cloth bag user, a gardener, a composter, a buyer-in-bulk, and a tree hugger (among many other crunchy things).

2. I found my first few gray hairs yesterday. I know it's kind of silly and all, but it kinda freaked me out. In one instant, I went from being the 32 year old cool young mommy who could still get away with going out to a club in Boston if I really wanted to, to being a middle-aged chick who should stick with her 11 pm bedtime. Oh dear. :)

Back to reality

I had a wonderful time in Vermont with my friend. We went out to dinner on Friday night, then had pedicures on Saturday at an awesome spa. The bonus? When you buy a spa service you get to use all of the facilities for the day.

We arrived a couple of hours before our pedicures, worked out, took a swim in the pool and the hot tub, and then sat in the steam room for a few minutes. We were completely relaxed by then and went for our pedicures. Mmmmmmm... I love being a mommy, but a weekend away every once in a while is so nice. :)

Here I go...

Well, I'm off for the weekend, and am fairly sure that the crimson bitch is coming with me. It's all good in the hood. I said to T, "I'm kind of glad, because it means we don't have to 'EXPLAIN' anything to the doctor." (Yeah, sure, sure it was only once...)

All I wanna do is make love to you

Remember that song? (You're humming it in your head now. Don't lie.)

T and I had that one "oops" night this month, and it's actually made the wait a little easier. I know I'm not "supposed" to get pregnant this month, so hopefully I won't be disappointed either way. Of course, if I happen to be pregnant, I'll be thrilled, but if I'm not, I'll be happy too. (I won't have to face the "teacher" and tell him that I didn't do my "homework.") :)

I don't feel preggo at all. In fact, I feel like I have PMS - cravings, mood swings, etc. Fun stuff! I'm away this weekend, so I'm planning to NOT bring any HPTs. That way I can't be tempted to test early.

On the lighter side, I'm really looking forward to the weekend. I'm going to Vermont to visit one of my best friends, and the hubby and the baby are staying HOME. :) I'll miss them, but I'm really looking forward to adult time!! We're going to a spa on Saturday, working out and then getting pedicures. Friday night she's even making noises about going out to dinner. OH, the excitement! Dinner out!! No babysitter!

"IRL" troubles

Last week, someone that I know in real life (IRL) sent me an invitation to a private blog that she just began. I don't want to sign into it with this identity because I don't want to have to make my personal information private. I also don't want her or the other people who will be reading her blog (who know me) to have access to my blog.

I guess I'm going to have to create a new Google identity, but I'm kind of annoyed because I don't want to have to go back and forth between the two to check her blog.

Oy. Any ideas?

Better

I know you're not supposed to weigh yourself every day because it's not as accurate. That being said, I weighed myself this morning and I was down an additional 1.5 pounds (without starving myself yesterday). I'll still count it with next week's loss, but it makes me feel better. That's because ladies, I busted my A$$ last week for those 4.5 pounds. The first week of a new routine is SUPPOSED to bring on the best weight loss of the whole thing. So I feel better. 4.5 pounds feels a lot better than 3.

What's for lunch?

The long and the short (and the fat) of it

I've struggled with my weight for my whole life. I will continue to struggle with my weight for the rest of my life. I'm 5' 8", and I'm a sturdy girl. In answer to Yaya's question about my weight, I would say that if I lost maybe 20 pounds, I'd consider myself to be "thin." (Even 10 pounds would make a nice big difference.)

On the scale, I'm only six pounds heavier than when I conceived D. However, I haven't worked out as much as I used to before D was born, so in spite of only a six pound difference, there's probably at least a 10 pound "shift." (You know, muscle and fat and all that stuff that sucks to talk about.)

A lot of people who are trying to conceive struggle with their weight. There are a variety of reasons for this. For many people, the fertility drugs they're taking can cause weight gain. Let's face it: any time you add hormones, you're messing with a delicate balance! For some, like me, it's the stress of the process and the feeling of "well, I'm not pregnant, so why the hell shouldn't I eat ice cream and drink margaritas?" that really makes me gain weight.

So as I told you all after my doctor's appointment, I'm on a mission to lose a few pounds. How many pounds has yet to be determined, but I'd really like to firm things up and lose between 8 and 10 pounds, as a rough goal.

I started my mission last Wednesday. I worked out several times over the course of the week, ate very well, and actually spent a majority of Sunday doing major yard work, which I'll count as at least three hardcore workout sessions in a row. (8am - 3:30 pm with very few breaks.)

This morning I weighed in 3 pounds lighter. I'm kind of bummed. I was hoping for more, but I have to remind myself that 1.) This is not the Biggest Loser, and I'm not going to lose 10 pounds in a week, and 2.) This is real weight loss, not the kind where you know you had a light dinner the night before so you step on the scale in the morning and you're suddenly two pounds down.

When trying to conceive, we always worry that there's something more we could be doing - some small difference in our routines that will be the "change that we need" to get the positive pee stick. In the end, for me it's going to have to be about doing the best I can, and then letting the big guy in the sky do the rest of the work.

I don't think there's any "magic number" when it comes to losing "enough" weight (apparently especially important for those with PCOS,) but I'm of the mindset that every little bit helps, so here I go into week 2...

Oops...

I've been having a really hard time with the whole "skipping this month" thing. Really hard.

Well, I can think of a lot of reasons NOT to get preggo this month: doctor's orders, wanting to lose weight before I try (which is going well so far- More on that in a future post), Christmas, and the fear that I'll feel like a big piece of s**t if I get pregnant and miscarry this month because "the doctor warned me."

But you know how things kind of happen?

Well... Oops. Guess I'll have to test this month after all. (But we're going to be good the REST of the month. Of course, I think I'm supposed to ovulate like, tomorrow.)