Monday, October 20, 2008

Constant Reminders

My cousin is pregnant with tripl.ets (naturally, believe it or not.) She has endom.etriosis and was expecting to have a hard time conceiving, so it is very, very exciting that she's pregnant.

The thing is that I should have been due about 2 weeks after her. I'm totally happy for her. Not jealous, not bitter, not sad. I'm completely happy for her.

However.

Every time I think about how far along she is, I think about how far along I'm not.

My Mom and I were talking about her the other day, and she said, "She's 19 weeks you know."

Me: "Yes, I know."

Mom: (realizing that of COURSE I know, because I should be 17 weeks) "I'm so sorry."

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It is my fervent hope that someday my cousin's trip.lets will be playing a game of tag with my future babies, and I'll be able to tell them about the cousin they should have had...

3 comments:

A said...

I sooo know how you feel. My friend who miscarried 2 weeks after me is now pregnant again, she actually got pregnant right after. Of course I am happy she is pregnant and doing well, but I am feeling sad that I wish I could be pregnant again too. I also just found out my progesterone is extremely low, so my Dr. thinks I may not be producing enough progesterone during my cycles. Ugh. I just wish everyone who wanted babies could have them easily like so many people I know! Its hard to stay positive sometimes, right? Well, hugs to you and keep pushing along!

expectingamiracle said...

My husband has a cousin who was due about a month before I was. It was hard to see her getting a belly because it reminded me of where I should have been. ((hugs))

Yaya said...

I'm so sorry :(
I had a good friend and we were a week apart. I can't bring myself to call/talk/see her at all. It's too hard for me knowing how far I SHOULD be. :(