Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I didn't think I was pregnant

I don't feel pregnant. I'm taking this progesterone that's supposed to give me "fake pregnancy symptoms" and honestly, I got nothin'.

The blood test is on Friday, but I'm "supposed" to get my period today (were it not for the progesterone and late ovulation). T is leaving for a "boys' weekend" in tomorrow so I was going to test tomorrow morning before he left, but I couldn't wait.

I think I kind of knew it was going to be negative, but I'm kind of disappointed anyway. I'm sort of wishing we'd tried last month even though the doctor said not to. Then we would have had a chance at an October baby. As things stand, we're looking at Christmas.

So I'm still going to take a test tomorrow, still going to take the baby aspirin and progesterone, still going to get the blood drawn on Friday just in case, but I don't think this is my month. And I'm sad. I'm sad in that "dull ache that only a baby can fix" way that we all know so well.

**EDIT** A friend sent this to me today. I'm not catholic, nor am I even all that religious, but it struck a chord with me, and I wanted to share it with the hope that it helps anyone else having a tough time.

St. Theresa's Prayer:
May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.


Amy said...

(((hugs))) I've been there, and I'm sorry for the ache that no one can help.

gallerygirl said...

Oh, I know that feeling. Just remember, I completely thought i was out more than once... I hope you get a pleasant surprise very soon.

The prayer is beautiful.

Azaera said...

I hate that feeling.. *hugs*. Lovely poem/prayer.

sushilover said...

So sorry, well maybe you'll get a surprise. We all know it happens to other people...why not us. Still keeping my fingers crossed.