Bittersweet

**Child Mentioned**

I'm busily getting ready for my son's second birthday party which is tomorrow. It's hard to believe that it's been two years since he was born. I have to confess that I don't remember every single detail. (Truthfully, the first three months are a bit of a blur!) I remember that my husband was watching the British Open on t.v. for most of my hospital stay. Kind of funny the random things you remember.

D amazes me on a daily basis. He was lagging behind on his speech because he had fluid behind his ear drums (and couldn't hear well) for several months. He got ear tubes in March, and his vocabulary has exploded over the past few months. He's smart, and funny, and sweet, even thoughtful. I'm so lucky to have been blessed with him. I can't believe he's two. (Well, tomorrow he will be.)

The weekend will be bittersweet for me, though. We'll be celebrating with family and enjoying watching D play with his cousins, but in the back of my mind will be one little thing.

Monday is Cary's due date.

I'll still enjoy the party, and I'll still be so excited to watch D enjoy the day.

It will just be very lonely to know that I should be 9 months pregnant, and I should have a huge baby belly, and not one person will remember that but me. To me, Cary was a person and a hope, and a possibility.

But in the midst of my sadness, I'll be celebrating my good fortune. Every day I thank God for giving me D (and T too.) In spite of the difficult past year, I'm really so lucky - and I need to remember that.

Happy Birthday, D.